What To Do With Your Negative Emotions

Isn’t this picture cool? I took it the other day and I just love it.

I adore how the shadows of the beams from the fence kept the snow on the ground.

As soon as I saw this on my walk with the dawgy I had a whirl wind of words come through me. Thank golly for Siri and talk to text so I could “write them all down.”

(It also perfectly captured the character of the spring/winter/spring/winter/spring/winter/spring that my climate is currently in. Seriously that walk was crazy – a weather warp. You can see a GIF of all the pics here.)

Bear with me as I create an analogy to this image. An imalogy if you will. Okay. Now I’m just procrastinating. Not everything needs to be combined into a cute new word. Or does it?

Let’s get on with it.

The sun beams its light in all directions. It doesn’t bother trying to figure out where it needs to shine. It just shines. The fence casts shadows, blocking the light from reaching the ground. The shadows prevented the snow from melting in very specific spots, keeping the grass hidden and from reaching it’s full Grassness.

I feel like my brain is already dizzy. We’re not done yet.

It’s these very specific spots that are interesting to me. These reminded me of the shadow parts of ourselves that we ignore, repress, deny, or attempt to abandon. If we don’t look at them, they’re going to stay there. And they’re going to keep the ground of our soul cold and dark.

The sun is like the light in us.

The shadows are like the darkness in us.

The fear, the worry, the anxiety. The anger, resentment and jealousy. You know, the shadows. The stuff we consider “negative.” The places we pretend don’t exist. It’s the “I’m fines,” and the “I’ll get betters,” and the “It’ll sort itself outs.”

Think about this. As the sun shifts in the sky so more of the snow will be exposed to its light (instead of its shadow) what’s gonna happen? Well, new grass will get access to the sun and it will be able to photosynthesize carbon dioxide to oxygen, reaching it’s full Grassness (as nature intended.)

Conversely, if that patch of grass is not exposed to the heat and the light of something like the sun it won’t get that opportunity.

Still with me? Cuz we about to go deep up in ‘ere!

These parts of ourselves that we try to bury only prevent us from doing our greatest work in the world.

Take, for example, someone with an idea that could help a lot of people but feels scared about putting that idea out into the world. If they don’t look at that fear, that person is not going to reach their full Personness, nor will other people benefit from her work, nor will the ripple effect of who they could help will happen. Oy.

The fear itself isn’t the problem.

Yep. This is true, just as the fence or shadow isn’t the problem.

The issue for us human types is resisting the fear or trying to pretend like it doesn’t exist.

Until that fear is acknowledged it can’t be moved through.

Unfortunately, the only way through is through.

It’s also worth noting that no one is to blame for this shadow. It’s not the fault of the snow, the fence, the sun, or even the grass. This imalogy was just a moment in time that showed how all those elements were interacting, while doing what they are naturally designed to do.

(Maybe not the fence. That’s mainly to keep the cows from partying it up in my back yard.)

Do you think the sun feels frustrated that the fence is blocking the way of melting the snow? No. The sun is just shining.

Do you think the fence feels guilty because it’s in the way? No. It was put there to be in the way 😉 Being in the way is it living up to its pure Fenceness.

Do you think the snow feels sad because it’s lying on top of the grass? No. It just fell from the sky as is does.

Do you think the grass feels mad that in that moment it is not reaching its full Grassness? Of course not. And who knows?  Maybe it’s happy for the rest.

A side note about the Five Elements:

In Chinese Medicine there are five elements and each has a specific associated emotion. Fire is Joy. Earth is Worry. Metal is Grief. Water is Fear. And Wood is Anger. We are trained to see MOST of those emotions as “negative” but each plays an important role in the balance and health of our bodies and universe at large.

Fear is required to keep us safe. Anger is a catalyst for change. Joy is Joy. Worry prepares us for the future, and Grief helps us let go of the past.

In the context of their important functions, you see that the are not negative at all.

Here’s what to do with your “negative” emotions:

What I am going to explicitly say now (because I’m not sure if these meanderings are coming across) is that when we sit with ourselves in stillness and silence, and we are able to acknowledge all of the chaos, stress, and fear that exists in us, the best and right thing to do is to be okay with that. Because it’s whats real and now. And so it’s all you have. It’s part of your whole Youness.

If we want it to go away we are causing more suffering. Now there’s snow on the ground, and I have resentment in my little grass blade heart.

Instead of trying to keep that darkness hidden, try looking at it.

The only thing we can do is acknowledge it for what it is. The simplest way to do that is to say. “Oh yeah I’m scared and that’s OK.” or “I’m nervous and I love that.” That last one comes from work by transformational comedian, Kyle Cease.  Or, “This is uncomfortable, and that’s alright.”

I invite you to witness you.

Give that a try. Pretend your “negative” emotions are just like a little child. Give them a hug. Tell them you love them.

Especially the next time you’re wanting to do something that calls to your heart but you have a whole list of reasons why you could possibly never do that thing – whether it’s you don’t have the money or time or people are gonna laugh at you or your your family will disown you.

Just acknowledge what’s coming up against you and say, “I’m afraid of this happening and I love that,” or  “I’m worried this is going to be hard… awesome!”

Eventually the earth will rotate, the sun will cast shadows in different places, and what was cold and dark will warm and thaw.

Remember: the only problemo is our resistance to how we feel and who we truly are.

I hope this imalogy was useful. In the comments below I’d love to hear what came up for you.

 

To your healthy, thriving, delightful life (in the moment,)

 

 

 

 

P.S. Special Thanks to my BFF Naomi TeWinkel over at Super Art Girl, for putting your eye balls on this work, and giving me the thumbs up to hit publish.