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How to Delight Yourself First

how to delight yourself first

It’s time to make your joy real.

This past week I was pretty bummed because I didn’t end up participating in this cool dance performance project that happens over spring break every year where I live.

The program involves learning two different dance forms and putting them together in a show. This all happens over 6 days.

It’s intense and brings me a tremendous amount of joy.

But this year I didn’t put it in my calendar. When I realized that it was spring break week, I’d already promised my time and energy out for 3 of the 5 rehearsals. I figured I couldn’t just show up for the last 2 rehearsals and hope to perform.

WAH WAH.

But, because it was on my calendar I went salsa dancing on the Thursday night, and got invited to do a little salsa cameo at the end of the show. YAY!! I had a great time, and I was glad to be involved even if it was for just 17 seconds. Here’s what I learned:

You don’t need permission to do the things that bring you joy. You just have to put them in your calendar as non negotiables.(Tweet that!)

This is not the first time I’ve learned this lesson. Through out high school I danced 4-6 hours per day after school, including Saturdays. I was in a youth modern dance performance company. It was my thing.

Just before graduating from high school, I was telling my English teacher, Ms. Hughes, about my schedule at the University of British Columbia for the upcoming fall. It was packed with biologies, chemistries, maths and physics. She asked, “What about dance?”

Defensively I said, “Meh… not a big deal, dance is just for fun, it’s not going to be my career, blah blah blah.”

She looked me in the eye and she said, “Tonia. Live YOUR life.”

At the time I brushed it off. Of course I would live my life. Who’s else would I live? (Teens!) I didn’t get what she really meant.

Off I went to UBC, kicking butt in my sciences and fitting in (only when there were no tests to prepare for) a 45 minute dance class on my lunch break. As I would hustle to get changed and over to the other side of campus to for my astronomy course I would curse under my breath. “Gah!” I would say. And other less polite things.

One day on said hustle, Ms. Hughes’ voice popped my head: Live. YOUR. Life.

Oooooooooh.

Why was I struggling to fit in a wee bit of dancing into my schedule? Something that made me so happy surely deserved more time. Official time.

So, I auditioned for the contemporary dance program at Simon Fraser University. I got in! YAY! The next September I transferred. My education came by learning about the body in both the studio and in my kinesiology classes. It was heaven. But the dance needed to be formally on my calendar.

I love these two applicable sound bites I heard recently:

tonia's core desired feeelings1. Delight yourself first, and 2. If it’s not scheduled it’s not real.

What brings you joy? When is the last time you did that thing? Does it need some official time on the calendar?

Maybe it’s not the thing, but the feeling that you’re after. For me, dancing makes me feel joyfully free – one of the things I want to feel in my life. In fact dancing helps me feel all of the feels I want to feel. My work helps me feel them all too.

In summary:

Live YOUR life. Delight YOURself first. Put what you love on your calendar and do it. Seriously. Your family and community will benefit if you’re doing what you love. Another thing that brings me joy? Helping others find their joy. I do this often with the help of Brain-Based Transformational Coaching. At my workout this morning, I was rocking out to an old school playlist, and was reminded of one of my favorite quotes, which I’ll leave you with:

“Be true to yourself and you will never fall.” – The Beastie Boys

(Tweet that!) In the comments below, share what your non-negotiable is. And then go take action by putting it on your calendar. And then go take action by going and doing it. After report how good it felt.

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